[E-Type] Manual Writing 101

After reading about Srini Ramanathan’s newbie dilemma (been
there-done that) and the subsequent comments about manuals,
I thought that a (somewhat humorous) proposed rating system
was in order to keep things in perspective when
contemplating the book/parts store offerings. Manual writing
should be classified as High Art. Nothing is worse than a
manual that you can’t understand so I propose the following
universal coding system, to be plastered all over every
cover so that the buyer can beware:

A: Really, Really Easy. No, I really mean, really easy
Easy as in thoughts like you’ve probably wondered which end
of that screwdriver to hold onto and is a chain saw an
appropriate tool (What’s a chain saw?) for engine work easy.
You’re one step above thinking that your checkbook is the
most useful tool in the tool box…umm, what’s a toolbox?
You’re a guy, but there are mysteries in this man’s world.
This book will introduce you to basic skills like how to
call a tow truck and waiting room etiquette.

B Easy, Easy. Easy as in you’ve figured out that cars don’t
run because of PFM, that things break and that they can be
fixed by mortals-possibly even you. You’ve used a
screwdriver to open a can of paint and you didn’t even have
to ask ‘‘slotted or phillips?’’. You’ve probably even used a
screwdriver on a screw, but your experience is limited to
tightening the bedroom door’s hinges. You’re a guy, but,
well…where’s that checkbook again?

C Easy. As in you’ve probably watched other guys work on a
car. You’ve probably poked your head under the hood (or
bonnet) and possibly could have passed a wrench (or spanner)
or two, held something while someone else tightened that
thingamajig. You might have even shared a congratulatory
beer after completion, or depending on your circles a
scotch, a glass of wine or a Mai Tai (no judgment here),
listening to the intricacy of successful carb balancing with
a shot glass and a screwdriver with reasonable attention but
convinced that the glass has better uses. You’re a guy, know
that the checkbook isn’t needed all the time and hey, this
might be fun, but don’t let that checkbook get too far out
of sight.

D Not Quite That Easy. Shop class in high school was not
your best subject, but you did manage to miter the corners
on that bread board final exam project at a somewhat 45
angle-enough to get a C+ for the year. You didn’t loose any
fingers on the band saw and you had to change a flat tire on
a date with your dad’s car-although you did wonder why there
were extra lug nuts as the 3 you could find seemed to hold
the wheel on just fine for the first few miles. You’ve got
some coordination skills and you are a bit of a thinker. You
might even try some basic engine maintenance You’re a guy,
but do I detect a few small grease stains on that checkbook?

(since this won’t fit on one, next post)–
'69 2+2-Big Red, '69 OTS-Priscilla, '99 XK8-Othello
Mantua NJ, United States
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In reply to a message from Robert Moore sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

E Medium Level But Easy. Hey, you aced shop-the first
semester that is. Figured out that English and metric tools
have some interchangeability by trial an error with a few
hopelessly rounded nuts to show for it. You�ve successfully
done an oil change and remembered to tighten the drain plug
and filter correctly. You�ve actually read a manual and
tried to follow its directions, although some areas of the
manual were completely daunting. Might as well been written
in French. You�re a guy, but real manhood is in your sights.
The checkbook is in your back pocket for now-but just in
case you screw up that part and have to replace the whole thing.

F Medium Level. You�ve really moved up! Took a few classes
in Auto Repair at the community college, learned that the
air compressor that you bought last year was really useful
for several things (besides scaring the piss out of the cat)
with the box of accessories you got for Christmas (along
with the lifetime supply of waterless hand cleaner). You
proudly show off your multi layered tool box on wheels and
can discuss with certainty the pros and cons of digital vs.
analogue torque wrenches, but you own both-just in case.
This is the broadest category of all, the danger zone.
You�ve learned a lot but what you don�t know will bite you
hard. All Medium Level manuals come with cross-reference
guides to other manuals, both more technical and very easy,
to help fill in the knowledge gap. You�re a guy with a manly
swagger around the garage. Checkbook is with the wife at the
mall-oh, damn!

G Difficult Medium Level. Dad was a mechanic. Your DNA has
STP in between the GATTA. At three you rebuilt an old Hemi
engine that someone left outside the back of your dad�s shop
and mounted it in your trike-although you did slip up and
leave your pacifier in the gearbox. You cried for a week
over that mistake. Your skill level includes such abilities
as perfectly balancing a set of six Webers by hearing the
harmonics set up by the air flow and feeling the dampness of
the air/fuel mixture. This manual simply contains the
minutiae illuminati other manuals can�t provide that is of
absolute no value unless your skill set is in the top point
oh oh one of All Those Who Work On Things Mechanical. You
inherited that garage and it�s your kingdom. All other are
merely guests who, like moths to a flame, want to bask in
you Guydom and learn at your feet-something that you are
willing to do given that you know that they will never
really get it and that you will gently correct the error of
their ways-something that you were put on this earth to do.
Checkbooks don�t enter into this equation.

H Difficult. �Honey, did you get a stone chip in the E�s
headlight cover? Never mind, I�ll make a new one out of this
hunk of glass that I have left over from doing that punch
bowl set for your mom on my CNC machine, but I�ll need some
new diamond coated blades first�now where did you put that
checkbook�?�

Just a bit of morning coffee humor
Bob–
'69 2+2-Big Red, '69 OTS-Priscilla, '99 XK8-Othello
Mantua NJ, United States
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In reply to a message from Robert Moore sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

Aha, well there’s difficult and then there’s the famous
understatements, like ‘‘mounting is the reversal of
unmounting the components’’ huh?

And some of my E favs:

-replace or reconnect the windscreen washer tubing inside
the bulkhead

-replace the heater pipes and brake vacuum pipe inside the
bulkhead

-remove and refit the windscreen wiper mechanism inside the
bulkhead

Actually anything where you need to get inside (or at least
get your hands in there and find completely new angles) the
bulkhead of an E-type!!!

And we all know how the fuel tank can come out and go in,
but we just can not explain it, can we?

That’s the power no manual can tell you either, but this
forum can, at least to some degree…

Cheers,
Pekka T. 1E76372BW MOD–
MKV 3.5L DHC, E-type 2+2 Ser.1 MOD, XJ6C MOD, XJ8 Executive
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In reply to a message from Robert Moore sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

To Robert Moore:
Enjoyed your writing. Still trying to identify my level of
competence. I was, after all, able to build balsa wood model
airplanes before I could walk, but then made the error of buying my
first car, an Austin Healey Sprite, before I was quite ready to
scrape my knuckles. I was able to adjust the brakes on my 3 speed
bicycle, but the Sprite represented many new challenges, some of
which I met, others required the use of my skinny checkbook. Now,
many cars later, I can actually rebuild an automotive engine (
after much practice with Mssrs. Briggs & Stratton), and make it
work. Have a great weekend!–
The original message included these comments:

In reply to a message from Robert Moore sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:


Stan Goodman - 69 Series 2 E-Type FHC
Bonita Springs/FL, United States
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Bob,
Loved it!
Larry— On Fri, 4/3/09, Robert Moore robertmoore@comcast.net wrote:

From: Robert Moore robertmoore@comcast.net
Subject: Re: [E-Type] Manual Writing 101
To: e-type@jag-lovers.org
Date: Friday, April 3, 2009, 5:35 AM
In reply to a message from Robert Moore sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

E Medium Level But Easy. Hey, you aced shop-the first
semester that is. Figured out that English and metric tools
have some interchangeability by trial an error with a few
hopelessly rounded nuts to show for it. You’ve
successfully
done an oil change and remembered to tighten the drain plug
and filter correctly. You’ve actually read a manual and
tried to follow its directions, although some areas of the
manual were completely daunting. Might as well been written
in French. You’re a guy, but real manhood is in your
sights.
The checkbook is in your back pocket for now-but just in
case you screw up that part and have to replace the whole
thing.

F Medium Level. You’ve really moved up! Took a few
classes
in Auto Repair at the community college, learned that the
air compressor that you bought last year was really useful
for several things (besides scaring the piss out of the
cat)
with the box of accessories you got for Christmas (along
with the lifetime supply of waterless hand cleaner). You
proudly show off your multi layered tool box on wheels and
can discuss with certainty the pros and cons of digital
vs.
analogue torque wrenches, but you own both-just in case.
This is the broadest category of all, the danger zone.
You’ve learned a lot but what you don’t know will bite
you
hard. All Medium Level manuals come with cross-reference
guides to other manuals, both more technical and very easy,
to help fill in the knowledge gap. You’re a guy with a
manly
swagger around the garage. Checkbook is with the wife at
the
mall-oh, damn!

G Difficult Medium Level. Dad was a mechanic. Your DNA has
STP in between the GATTA. At three you rebuilt an old Hemi
engine that someone left outside the back of your dad’s
shop
and mounted it in your trike-although you did slip up and
leave your pacifier in the gearbox. You cried for a week
over that mistake. Your skill level includes such abilities
as perfectly balancing a set of six Webers by hearing the
harmonics set up by the air flow and feeling the dampness
of
the air/fuel mixture. This manual simply contains the
minutiae illuminati other manuals can’t provide that is
of
absolute no value unless your skill set is in the top point
oh oh one of All Those Who Work On Things Mechanical. You
inherited that garage and it’s your kingdom. All other
are
merely guests who, like moths to a flame, want to bask in
you Guydom and learn at your feet-something that you are
willing to do given that you know that they will never
really get it and that you will gently correct the error of
their ways-something that you were put on this earth to do.
Checkbooks don’t enter into this equation.

H Difficult. “Honey, did you get a stone chip in the
E’s
headlight cover? Never mind, I’ll make a new one out of
this
hunk of glass that I have left over from doing that punch
bowl set for your mom on my CNC machine, but I’ll need
some
new diamond coated blades first…now where did you put
that
checkbook…?”

Just a bit of morning coffee humor
Bob


'69 2+2-Big Red, '69 OTS-Priscilla, '99
XK8-Othello
Mantua NJ, United States
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[forums.jag-lovers.org]–


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In reply to a message from Robert Moore sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

Nice one!

You missed out the J grade - The Flukey Magician.

How many times has someone come to you with an automotive or
domestic appliance issue that you really have no idea how to fix
but what the heck, you’ll have a poke around and see what you can
see. A few clues later, the odd tightened connection and ‘Hey
Presto - it works!’ You can surprise yourself with that one but
have to take care to look ‘knowing’ throughout, otherwise people
may have a niggle of doubt about your seeming ability to walk on
water.

Not to be confused with K grade ‘Never give up’ where you finally,
finally, know you have met your match. This is the only one where
serious self-esteem and satisfaction kicks in:

You have tried all the obvious stuff, tried the less obvious and
even tried the totally off-the-wall and risky options. It totally
bugs you that you’ve given it your best shot and this stupid
inanimate object has finally beaten you. Then just before giving up
in disgust you give it one more nuclear heave and 'YESS!!! Yes,
Yes, Yes! :slight_smile: You won! Or you find out the part you just broke is
actually pretty cheap - same difference :-).

Pete–
68 E-type OTS, 96 X300 XJ12, 94 XJR 5-speed manual
Cambridge, United Kingdom
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In reply to a message from Stan in FL sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

Well, my curse in life is to collect information in all
guises, read things carefully, cross index everything, talk
endlessly about what to do all in the optimistic belief that
once I actually tackle the project, that this ‘‘knowledge
foreplay’’ will carry me with the wings of an angel up, up,
through the anointed task and over to the finish line of
‘‘Well done!’’ with nary a hint of a grease stain to apologize
for on wash day.

Sadly, too many times my feet are very much made of clay,
the angels bitch way too loudly and refuse to budge an inch,
and I am left fitfully stopping and starting on the way to a
questionable outcome. And, on occasion, left wondering where
my checkbook is and why I didn’t use it in the first place.

But I’m still having fun! And yes, this list is an integral
part of my therapy.

Bob–
'69 2+2-Big Red, '69 OTS-Priscilla, '99 XK8-Othello
Mantua NJ, United States
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HA!! Interesting…
Just the other day I had a relatively new item that just froze up and wouldn’t work. I called the company, explained to them and they said, “That shouldn’t happen, we’ll send you a new one”.
So, I figured I would disassemble it, clean and lube it, and see if I could get it back together. I did and it works fine now. Don’tknow what I did, but I are sure a rithmetician (what ever that means).
LLoyd

Now occurs everywhere, simultaneously.  But it doesn't have to be 

experienced the moment it happens. Every now that ever was is still exactly
when it was, when it was now. Then, in terms of perception, is nothing more
than all the nows that are no longer now. Thus, the difference between now and then is when.
–The Waystoppers Users’ Manual----- Original Message -----
From: “PeterCrespin” jag@thewritersbureau.com
To: e-type@jag-lovers.org
Sent: Friday, April 3, 2009 10:18:18 AM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific
Subject: Re: [E-Type] Manual Writing 101

In reply to a message from Robert Moore sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

Nice one!

You missed out the J grade - The Flukey Magician.

How many times has someone come to you with an automotive or
domestic appliance issue that you really have no idea how to fix
but what the heck, you’ll have a poke around and see what you can
see. A few clues later, the odd tightened connection and ‘Hey
Presto - it works!’ You can surprise yourself with that one but
have to take care to look ‘knowing’ throughout, otherwise people
may have a niggle of doubt about your seeming ability to walk on
water.

Not to be confused with K grade ‘Never give up’ where you finally,
finally, know you have met your match. This is the only one where
serious self-esteem and satisfaction kicks in:

You have tried all the obvious stuff, tried the less obvious and
even tried the totally off-the-wall and risky options. It totally
bugs you that you’ve given it your best shot and this stupid
inanimate object has finally beaten you. Then just before giving up
in disgust you give it one more nuclear heave and 'YESS!!! Yes,
Yes, Yes! :slight_smile: You won! Or you find out the part you just broke is
actually pretty cheap - same difference :-).

Pete

68 E-type OTS, 96 X300 XJ12, 94 XJR 5-speed manual
Cambridge, United Kingdom
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In reply to a message from Stan in FL sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

In the mid-50’s Sturmey Archer made a 5 speed hub. I was
working at a bike shop after school (my first real job) and
as a gag, the owner and I put together a 75 speed bike (5
hub, 5 rear derailleur, 3 front sprocket). First, I had to
rebuild the hub. That was the most complex piece of
machinery I’ve ever seen - right up to this day. The bottom
gear had an overdrive (or underdrive), controlled by a
chain on the left side of the hub. I entered the bike in
the Victoria Day parade, and wowed the crowd with triple
low gear - my legs were a blur, and I was doing about 3
mph. In triple high, I could only pedal on a downhill slope

  • one turn of the pedals was about four turns of the wheel.
    I got stopped by a cop for doing 50 mph in a 30 zone. Boy,
    does that bring back memories.–
    The original message included these comments:

scrape my knuckles. I was able to adjust the brakes on my 3 speed
bicycle, but the Sprite represented many new challenges, some of


1969 4.2 Series 2 E Type
Brentwood Bay, B.C., Canada
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In reply to a message from IanCameron sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

I knew they did three speeds - very common (very clean)- but didn’t
know about the five-speed. The problem with hub planetary gears was
if you didn’t get the little chain adjusted right with the
handlebar quadrant you could end up with a sudden neutral. This was
eye-wateringly painful on a bike with a cross bar, if it happened
while heaving on the pedals in the standing position going up a
steep hill…

Pete–
68 E-type OTS, 96 X300 XJ12, 94 XJR 5-speed manual
Cambridge, United Kingdom
–Posted using Jag-lovers JagFORUM [forums.jag-lovers.org]–


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In reply to a message from PeterCrespin sent Fri 3 Apr 2009:

The three speed was the common one, but they also had a
pretty good four speed on the Raleigh Lenten Tourist model,
and a couple of others. But the five speed was very short
lived. No bloody wonder. Not only did you have to have the
main shifter chain (on the right side) adjusted properly,
but also the secondary chain, on the left side. What a
PITA. Oh, yes, and if you used the wrong oil you were
toast. Too thick and it wouldn’t shift; too thin and it
wore out.–
1969 4.2 Series 2 E Type
Brentwood Bay, B.C., Canada
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