Oh dear lord. Gut wrenching news. I’m so sorry.
Please take care of yourself
DD
Yep no words, I had a co-worker who’s son sat in his car with the hose pipe many moons ago, no rhyme or reason, same with a BiL he used a shot gun.
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Thank you David for taking the time to write and for your kind words. I don’t know if I will ever feel better. I think it’s just more of being accustomed to the huge hole in my heart. As each day passes the reality that I will never see my Son again becomes more and more real. I do have the memories of our happy times together, I guess that will have to do.
Thank you again David.
Sincerely,
Mark
Mark,
These are the most heart breaking news one could have…
My greatest sympathies from the bottom of my heart.
You can’t blame your self though. Absolutely not. There is always a “should have” or “could have” but this is not a way to think. I can see from your face that you were a caring and loving father. It was his own decision.
And you are right, it’s just more of being accustomed to the huge hole, and you must not stop your life or your passions. It’s something that can fill that hole, at least partially.
Sincerely,
Aristides
Thank you Aristides for your kind words and taking the time to write.
Sincerely,
Mark
Mark there are no words or actions that can ease your pain either now or in the future. Without going into details I too have been touched by suicide and I know the pain of “if only “. Please know that there are people on this forum and in the wider community who are with you in spirit and in thought. All the very best wishes for your journey of healing.
Can’t tell you, Mark, how sorry I feel - very simply first because I may have made you live through the nightmare all over again by asking the question why you withdrew your post. Just to explain: I received your message only yesterday and then was surprised it had been withdrawn just a few hours later.
No matter how, as a father of one son who is young enough to just have made his first driving experience of the RHD Jag in a LHD environment a week ago I know the sense of responsibility a father has for his children - even in situations where you just don’t have a chance either to anticipate and take better care or to react quicker and save. Even if you cannot be blamed a bit this just will probably not give you any relief.
Any death of a young person is without sense. And yet, it hurts even more if there is no one to blame, and not even an explanation we’d consider as such. Many years ago I used to live in a student’s house three rooms from a guy I had talked with a couple of times. When I returned after Easter break I was told he had shot himself to follow Kurt Cobain … duh … even then I found it impossible to imagine how his parents must have felt. The less sense, the higher the pain of loss.
So while our compassion and thoughts are with you it may be the greatest task of your life not to go insane with that terrible loss. Take you time and find out whether it helps you better to (try to) forget or rather to remember him as vividly as possible. Maybe Jags are tainted forever now, maybe you find it a way of grieving to build a very special Jag just for your son. If we can be of any help - from wherever we are - just let us know!
Jochen
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It’s okay Jochen, You didn’t make me relive anything. Sunday was a rough day, I ran across a Fathers day card Trent had gotten me so I was a bit fragile to begin with. Truly, what set me off was Frank telling me that getting an average on the temps was a waist of time. I did it to make sure I didn’t have an air bubble anywhere because I’d just changed the thermostat and refreshed the coolant. Normally that kind of thing doesn’t really get to me, but Sunday it did; so rather than flaming everyone, I just withdrew my response, and figured I’d not come back for a while.
My Son, Trent, was a week away from his 22nd birthday. I don’t think the sense of responsibility ever goes away, my guilt lies in the fact I didn’t have my phone on me like I always do. Maybe If I would’ve gotten there sooner, or called him right after I got his video…
Maybe…
The maybe of the world really don’t matter at this point…
I do like the idea of building a special Jag for my Son. That is a really good idea.
Thank you Jochen, thank you very much for taking the time to put your thoughts and feelings on this electronic paper.
It’s truly appreciated.
Your truly,
Mark