-
You�re mindful of the fact that if you get into a freeway
chase with the Highway Patrol, you need a car that�s going to go
more than 180 miles on a full tank of gas. Otherwise, 70 minutes
into your televised escapade, marveling at the fact you can run at
least 130mph, you�ll be rolling into Mobil (not Arco, please) with
an empty tank, a soon-to-be-empty wallet, and the SWAT team
pointing shotguns at the back of your head. -
On that subject, due to the vagarities of the gas gauge,
the tank sender unit, the anti-slosh module and the various wiring
shenanigans going on, you�ve got no idea how much fuel you�ve got
anyway, given that the needle is pointing randomly at E or F (and
odd points in between) whenever you look at it. -
One good reason to jack a car is to sell it. However, the
moment you list it on eBay, you get a whole lot of people asking
you awkward questions � �Lucas or Marelli?� �When was the last time
you replaced the coolant hoses?� Did you hacksaw off the
distributor spindle and fill the bottom of the rotor with bathtub
sealant?� �Gear reduction NipponDenso starter or the
original?� �Did you get the top bolt out or did you have to turn
the car upside down and drill it out/blowtorch it out/dynamite it
out?� �When was the radiator rodded?� �Do you still have the
original AAV or did you make a manual choke override like Bernie
Embden?� �Is there a printout of Kirbert�s book in the trunk?� �Did
George Balthrop or Sean Straw give the electrics the twice-
over?� �Have you got a puddle of hydraulic fluid in the passenger-
side footwell from the convertible top pump?� �Can you see in the
dark/did you ditch the Euro-Cibie headlamps?� �Can you put high-
beams on without a puff of smoke from under the hood?� �Did T-Boy
tell you how to get the fuel injection hoses off the barbs?� And
that�s just for starters. Suddenly Ed Sowell and some dude from
Australia called Richard Dowling ask awkward technical questions
about compression ratios and banjo bolts that you wonder if even
they understand. You withdraw the listing, just a little scared of
what you�ve gotten yourself into. -
It�s easy to alert the cops to the car you�ve just
heisted. There aren�t many of them around, so they don�t even need
the license plate number. It�s good enough to say �XJS V12, British
Racing Green, Tan Interior� and there�s two to choose from in a 180-
mile radius of where you live (that�s two tanks of gas). You know
the heat-seeking helicopters that the cops use to find felons
hiding in the bushes from 2000 feet overhead? You know what an XJS
looks like on an infra-red monitor? It�s like looking at the sun
through a telescope. You can run, but you sure as heck can�t hide
when everything under the hood is cooking at about 600C, and that�s
when both thermostats are working properly. This is the original Lo-
Jack system.
(continued …)–
'92 XJS V12 Convertible, '95 XJR
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